And Kiss the Three-Foot Shuffle Goodbye
May 2001
The Three-Foot Rule: If anyone near me has three feet, I should step on one ...
No, that's not right.
The Three-Foot Rule: If anyone comes within a meter, well, I'd like to meet 'er …
Nope, wrong again.
The Three-Foot Rule: The first two are for turning and walking away after I've put the third in my mouth … Um, wait. Three feet is exactly half of how many feet you wish I were under whenever I'm near … Dang! Three feet are what it takes to run as fast as you wish you could in the other direction when I start talking about my business opportunity …
Why oh why can't I get this right? Hmm. I know why: I have no love for the "Three-Foot Rule."
Could you tell?
Now, it really (no kidding this time) goes like this: Whenever anyone comes within three feet, tell her about the business.
What is it I dislike about this rule? Simply this: what if she doesn't want to hear about my business? Doesn't she have a choice? What if the anxious, excited, driven new network marketer doesn't have the discernment to know when to apply this rule and when not to, and thus verbally beats up on everyone within earshot, irregardless? And ends up doing as much violence to other people's sense of privacy—and to their view of network marketing—as the word "irregardless" does to the English language?
I say, deep-six the Three-Foot Rule-and replace it with the network marketer's Hippocratic Oath:
First, do no harm.
A multiple-choice question: When on the phone or in a face-to-face encounter with a prospect, your number one priority for the conversation should be:
a) Get her to try your product;
b)
Get her to take a look at your opportunity;
c)
Get her to share with you her core values, her "compelling why."
The answer? It's a trick question. The answer (at least, my answer) is:
d) None of the above.
In my book, your first priority in any encounter like this should be:
Make sure to leave this person with a better impression of network marketing itself than when the conversation began.
That way, irrespective of what your prospect chooses to do, you've made the world a safer place for networkers. And that's a productive outcome, regardless.
It's something like the goal of conscious agriculture: Leave the soil in better shape than you found it. Hey, future generations will want to farm this soil, too.
Part of attaining to maturity in network marketing is coming to grips with the realization that not everyone is a prospect, no matter how close to you they may be in feet, inches or common interests. The truth: not everyone wants to be part of your business.
Now, don't get me wrong: the world around you is just brimming with potential partnerships, with friendships bursting to be found. The truth of the "cold market" is that the moment you touch it, it begins to warm.
My friend Ana McClellan can prospect anyone, anywhere, anytime. I marvel at how she can spark a conversation in virtually any situation. She makes the Three-Foot Rule come to life, and in her hands, it works. Why? Because for her, it is authentic. She is genuinely interested in these people. For her, it is not a "rule," three-foot or otherwise. It is simply how and who she is.
Carol McCall makes a great point about listening: when it becomes a technique, it's no longer listening. It's the same thing with "establishing rapport." Establishing rapport is great—when that's really what you're doing. But if what you're really doing is carefully "dialoguing and relationshipping" with a person, all the while noticing what a fine job you are doing of dialoguing and relationship ping ... you're not making friends, you're "doing the business." You are not saying, "Who is this person?"—you are saying, "Ah, what a clever networker am I!"
And the other person knows it.
When making friends becomes the self-conscious technique of friendship-making, it's really no different from hitting on someone at a singles bar. That's not enrolling; it's cruising.
And sure, you might sell a product, even enroll a distributor—but will you still respect her in the morning?
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